Life in the slow Lane: Coolangatta to Lennox Head

Crack of stoopid again 6:30am on 11 November 2010.

So with Dawn rising we break out in our Jucy again for the wide open roads down towards Coolangatta and trust me we're not about to embark on a Coolangatta run - getting physical is for those who know their bodies can go one step beyond - our bodies have gone so far beyond that we're considering a refund and a new chassis.

We do however, step out onto Coolangatta Beach and dodge the low flying planes as they come into land - note thankfully at the airport and not on the beach! The beach had some sort of strange looking spider-shaped grass as we came down the steps towards the sand.

Coolangatta beach like most of the Queensland Beaches was long and stretched for miles and I have to say the surf  was looking kinda tame even with the strong headwind.

We decided to place our footprints in the sand and even saw a tiny sea cucumber on the beach.

We headed towards Tweed Heads to find a shopping mall to get some essentials at Coles. I must admit it was nice being in super cool air conditioning. As we continued along the road we came across a small boat ramp area and decided to pull over for a rest.

The river Tweed being very wide. Great for fishing too - sadly I din't have my tackle in tow. We sat by the river in the undercover seating area and had a drink. All in all a pleasant spot, even if it was a little difficult to get out of and get back on the road again.

We were heading towards Kingscliff, Northern NSW and decided that this might be a nice place to have some lunch. After lunch we had a look at some of the damage on the beach caused by recent storms. Access to the beach was limited due to huge drops.

What I did find amusing was the sign they had up before entering the beach area.

Makes you want to ask the question "Are you sure you want to swim?" Quite different from the usual "No worries, mate!" Aussie attitude.

We moved on after lunch and a quick stop to look at Cabriata Beach, through Hastings point, Pottsville and onto Brunswick Heads before hitting Byron Bay, Byron Bay Lighthouse lookout and Lennox Head.

When we hit Byron Bay, Northern NSW we had a quick look around and headed up to the lighthouse lookout but we didn't go in today. We then went onto Lennox Head and parked up by the lake. We cooked our Hot dogs on the camper's stove and wrapped them in bread. There was even a nice place to camp, a beach close by. 

In the camp area we found a friendly happy, Dutch hippie, who has been travelling round Australia in their campavan and loving it. Before nightfall we decided to BBQ some snags, potatoes, onions and mushrooms on the nearby BBQ. We were even joined by a local drunk and his BBQ chops, along with his little Tom Sawyers, swinging from a rope into the Lake.

Once consumed we retreated to our little camp site by the beach, woods n Lake and slept under the stars.

Life in the slow lane: Wet n' Wild time

10 November 2010 at another crack of stoopid - 6am.

Awoke for a mad dash to the facilities. Fruit breakfast, check out and head towards Southport and Helensvale, Queensland. Once we arrived at Helensvale we checked into the Gold coast Holiday Park and Motel

http://www.goldcoastholidaypark.com.au/ freecall 1300 789 189. $27 (discounted from our Jucy Top Tourist Key - 10%) for un-powered site, which is part of their camping ground area and backs onto a creek. At the time we checked in the site was being re-modelled, so building works were going on. This site was bigger than Burleigh Beach Tourist Park and also had Motel facilities. The swimming pool was located miles away from all the other facilities. They had a nice eating area, good showers and toilets, as well as laundry facilities. They didn't sell goods as shops and servo's were close by.

They did inform us that the theme parks apart from Wet n' Wild don't let any food or drinks in unless you have special dietary requirements and lockers cost $9 no return, which makes going to the theme parks very expensive even with a discounted unlimited entry card from my fun http://myfun.com.au/ . It turned out that only Movie World out of the 3 Theme parks we were visiting; Wet n' Wild, Sea World and Movie World have the strict no food policy and the $9 locker fee is at all Theme Parks. Food prices for very unhealthy food like burgers, fries, battered fish n chips, pizza's and lots of fizzy drinks cost anything from $5 upwards and the portions are stingy at best.

As we ventured down towards the camping site it looked a bit boggy - they didn't tell us that the site can flood - kinda handy to know considering we weren't driving a 4 wheel drive! They also omitted to tell us about the building works going on. The un-powered sites are not marked,  it's pot luck you get the right one. Luckily our site wasn't boggy. This huge holiday park has every size and make of camping van's, trailer's RV's, Tents all snug up to one another. The other issue the camping grounds were quite a walk to the facilities in the middle of the night with no lighting available and the poor uneven condition of the ground - not all campavan's have toilet facilities! The only plus about this camp site is that they do allow pets and that is a very rare thing. Due to the boggy camping grounds and the unhealthy creek behind there was an almighty mozzie fest during the night and these mozzie's were hellbent on being little suckers. Google Star Rating: 3 stars/ our Star Rating: 2 stars.

So once we had checked out the facilities we headed for Wet n Wild. We even changed in the back of our Campavan and slip, slop, slapped as it looked like a scorcher of a day. Once through we queued up to have our mugshots taken for our unlimited passes - mine looked like Bea Smith out of Prisoner Cell Block H.
http://www.prisoner-cellblockh.co.uk/characters/beasmith.html

Erm just a thought here but we're at Wet n Wild and erm "THIS PASS IS NOT WATERPROOF"????? Hello but erm pardon me for being a drongo yet again but isn't Wet n Wild a WATER THEME PARK!???? So I hereby award Village Roadshow Theme Parks my special Homer Simpson "DOH!" award.

Once the mugshots had been taken we decided to have a gander at what's on offer - first to the "Giant Wave Pool" water area, complete with sun loungers and shady areas and one big wave pool. Now it should be noted the wave pool doesn't have any shades over any of the water area, so slip, slop, slapping is mighty essential here. This is also the place to watch the movies once the summer late nights keep the park open. 

The "Giant Wave pool" is pretty cool with 'real feel' beach waves and graduation into the water, even lifeguards are sat sweltering in the sun, keeping an eye on it's many guests. It can get pretty crowded and the wave machine doesn't go all the time, just intermittently. Most people stand in the water waiting for the waves to start. It's really is a good job this isn't a constant barrage of waves, as it gets pretty exhausting after a while.

Also in this area is the new ride - "Flowrider" - this is a bookable ride and costs extra to do and you have a choice to stand or lie on your specially designed ride surfboard. The guy demonstrating was very good but others weren't so lucky and falling could see you crashing to the sides. Note we didn't have a go at this.

Most of the rides have height, weight and medical restrictions, I guess if you ignore that advice it's at your own risk and the Theme Park is not liable. Having said that height checks are not done till you reach the top of a very, very long stair case. Be warned most rides have several flights of stairs to climb, so it's not for the feint hearted and if you haven't pre-purchased your locker, someone will have to stay below and watch the bags, as there is no place to stash them around the rides.

After the "Giant Wave Pool" we meandered round to the "Mammoth Falls" and up the several flights of stairs. Awaiting for us at the top was one huge round rubber dinghy and a ride full of twists and turns, sending us up various sides of the ride. It's a slower and wetter version of the luge run and you really do have to jump out at the bottom to avoid on coming traffic.

The "Whirlpool" wasn't operational, so we decided to choose something a little more on the slower pace and chillin' - so it was off to "Calypso Beach". This is a gentle float round the Calypso Island and yes they have sand in various parts and Palm trees. As you meander around the River on your floating rubber ring - which by the way wasn't easy to mount - you glide past a cave a gushing water plummets down on your head (there are 2 small gaps to avoid this if you so choose but hey you're already wet, so what's the big deal?). the gushing water from above is about the most excitement you could get from this as it really is a slow meander in the river.

As "Calypso Beach" was such a nice spot we decided to have lunch here and chillax some more. Ah this was the life, sand, Palm trees, running water, food - hang on we're at a Theme Park - isn't it about thrills and spills? Well, yes but not for a moment. After lunch we had trouble deciding what to do next. Back to the "Giant Wave Pool" to cool off again before thinking about more steps, more rides.

The "buccaneer Bay" is a great spot for younger children, lots for them to see and do and even a shaded area for parents to sit and eat lunch, parts of this pool are covered by shades, so great on a very hot day. We walked towards the "Aqualoop" area - also a new ride at Wet n Wild - the tubes looked thin but it says the maximum weight is 130kgs, which is quite hefty minimum is 40 kgs and this ride you do get weighed before even climbing up the stairs. On this ride you are shot at great speed through enclosed tubes and through a loop to the end. It was fun seeing bodies hurtle at incredible speeds through the tubes. I decided against attempting this one, didn't want to be the one who got stuck in a tube!

Instead I opted to try the "Super 8 Aqua Racer" - head forward on a rubber mat down a bumpy, skinny track. There was a queue for this as we waited for the mats and then a long walk to the stairs at the back of the ride and then the climb onwards and upwards. The flow of the water is quite strong so laying of the mat is tricky and then whoosh on ya stomach and down you go at break-neck speed.

Amazingly we had been in the park at 10am and after this ride decided that we needed to rest and go back to our camp site at 1:30pm even though earlier we were planning on staying all day. Most of the rides didn't grab us and we weren't in the mood for training to run up the Rialto in Melbourne. With that we left the park - note the exit is conveniently through the Theme Park shop!

Wet n Wild's Theme Park Map http://wetnwild.myfun.com.au/Park-Info/Interactive-Map.htm 

Returning to our Jucy bog we decided to venture around the camp site and find the swimming pool, well we trod through and weaved around the building works, to the other side of the camp site to a very nice swimming pool. We even conversed with a grey nomad who had come specifically for the Pan Pacific Masters Games http://www.mastersgames.com.au/ then dipped in the water before having a nice hot shower, using the facilities in the middle of the camp site.

We were going to settle in for a quiet night till along came 3 Bruce's with Shelia's and ankle grinder's in toe, as is the nature of these camping sites. They started hummin' n aarghin' over which way to pitch their camps, moanin' n groanin' on munching mozzies, who were happily chomping away at the bit, so the reading idea was curtailed for the night and we retired to our camp bed at 8:30pm.

We were going to watch a movie on the DVD player however, that decided to die on us half way through a movie, so that left us with the option of sleep and hopefully a good night.

Overall review of Wet n Wild - basically an overpriced swimming pool unless your fit, 20 something, don't mind climbing stairs and are mad for it. With beaches near by and constant waves, Barbara of Bankworld might say, "Go! There! Why would ya?"

Life in the slow lane: Burleigh Heads

Before we knew it , the crack of stoopid had awoken us again at 5am now on 9 November 2010 somewhere in the vicinity of Burleigh Heads. We got up and set off to find a much prized Burleigh Heads parking spot by undercover BBQ's and seating, toilets and easy access to the beach.

We set up our breakfast around the undercover seating and lay out quite a spread, whislt fitness freaks fly pass with evil eyes upon our bread. We also have; pineapple, ham,watermelon, peaches, cheese, salad, lemon cordial even the birds wanted to dine at our table.

Australian White Ibis

Once we had consumed our majestic morning feast, we looked at options for another night's stay, we drove a Jucy in and berthed her down for the day. Exhausted from the previous heated night, we decided to lay our heads down and catch some shut eye before the noise abounds. 

After a spot of lunch we decided to head towards Burleigh Heads beach for a swim.

The sea was quite warm and the tide strong all in all a pleasant afternoon. Once dried off we decided that we needed to get something for dinner and made a short trip to the shops for some Moroccan lamb on skewers, spinach and feta sausages and some other essentials for our trip.

Once back at our camp site we cooked up a storm and sat out in the warm night air to read. Whilst reading some campers started arriving and we chatted with some Chilean family. They were making the trip from Brisbane to Sydney in a week in there powered Camper. 

After chatting with the Chilean's we decided to go to bed and watch a movie amazingly we soon crashed and the movie got cut short.

P.S. I have decided not to mention the real names of the people we meet along the way, for one thing I haven't asked their permission to appear in this blog and using their names would not add anything more to the tale of our journey.

We stayed at the Burleigh Beach Tourist Park 

http://www.goldcoasttouristparks.com.au/park/burleigh-beach?gclid=COiXyJiyxaUCFQPSbgodJzag_g  freecall 1800 444 474. 

They didn't have an un-powered site accessible by vehicle so we had to pay for a powered site @ $36 a night. Jucy campavan's don't need powered sites, they have two batteries. The second battery powers up as you are driving.

Burleigh Beach Tourist park is close to Burleigh Heads beach and local shops. They have decent toilet and shower block, BBQ facilities, camping areas - even Villas for those who want some comfort on their journey. Laundry and washing facilities. They are close to a main road, quite small compared to some camping sites and have a few items in their office. Also you can hire bicycle's from them should you be staying a while and not want to drive around. AAA rating 4 stars/our rating 4 stars. 

Our Jucy Campavan parked at Burleigh Beach Tourist Park

Life in the slow lane

So, 2 lesbians, Virgin's in Flight and a Jucy Crib - all translates to holidaying in a campavan for 17 days in Queensland and Northern NSW, with 2 days in an apartment in Brisbane at the end before returning home. This isn't about too much luxury, as our campavan wouldn't have toilets or showers and we were on a tight budget - could it be done?

Here's a question what can you buy or where can you go for 2 hours with $2.80 per person? 

Answer:- Take the 901 from Ringwood, Victoria to Melbourne Airport (Tullamarine) and that's exactly what we did, complete with luggage to start our holiday. By comparison a taxi would have been the equivalent of $100 journey even going via the Eastlink and yes it may only have taken 45 mins in morning traffic or the alternative was get a Bus then train, then Skybus - this would have cost $5.80 each (zones 1 &2), several changes, plus walking and an extra $16 each one way or $26 each return and possibly just as long as our $2.80 each 901 journey.

So at the crack of stoopid (5 o'clock) on 8th November, we rose to a quick swill of tea, cleaning of the pearly whites, mad dash n' grab uphill to 1 bus stop, puffin' and a huffin' - note that's almost requiring Ventolin not a smoko. 

By 6am we were all aboard the slo mo 901 express (yes I know that's an oxymoron) and on our way to Melbourne Airport 

http://www.metlinkmelbourne.com.au/maps-stations-stops/metropolitan-buses/bus/3185 

We weaved our way through all zone 2 suburbs, visiting shopping centre after shopping centre, suburb after suburb and all the time it was getting lighter and lighter and day was breaking. It was actually a great way to see other places in Melbourne we had never visited and probably wouldn't have considered going to before.

By 8 am we got dumped by a Tiger - well more precisely Terminal 4 Tiger Airways at Melbourne Airport and made the short walk following the Yellow Taxi Road to a Terminal 3 Virgin (about 100m), luggage in tow. We then grabbed a lift to drop our bags off and then dashed like a 100m hurdler to empty into the cistern. Of course when that happens you immediately want to refill and quench your thirst, we also grabbed a quick snack, shopped till we dropped.

Finally we got secured and had a quick explosives check, we told him we had already de-gased. After a quick frisk we checked out the big birds on the tarmac through triple thick glass at the small end, we spied a Virgin squeeze through and saw some small ones entering, starred at some stars, with a boy with some big eyes who saw the big birds bottom out and then we flushed out one more time as we wanted to board the virgin on time.

Eventually we were called to stand in-line to board the virgin but were delayed by some late boarders who finally dragged themselves down the poor waiting virgin. Once inside the virgin we sat down to enjoy the view. The virgin began reaching her climax before flying off skywards. We rode the Virgin for about 2 hours and once she had docked herself airside, we dashed for the Virgin's loo.

We then went to pick up our old bags, one bag was well and truly strapped down and the other had a silver tassle upon her head, so we wheeled our old bags towards a cab. Once locked n loaded in the cab he sped off like Stirling Moss and even mounted the strip flying by our Jucy encounter and then got checked out by the Brisbane Jucy Kiwi's http://www.jucy.com.au/default.aspx . 

Jumped in the Jucy and glided down the freeway and surfaced at Surfer's, spied a Meter Maid and finally squeezed the Jucy into a space. Off we went to munch and crunch on club n coke, then came back to choke on a warning infringement notice from Gold Coast council bloke - "Welcome to Surfer's Mate!"

It was alleged that we were camping in a paying car park, all cos we were security conscious women, we had closed all our blinds, as advised by the Jucy Kiwi's, so I didn't choke on my meal, could take a trip down on the sands, shop for tomorrows brekkie at the local stupid-market. However the Gold Coast Council bloke decided that the diabetic, epileptic, asthmatic lesbian and her girlfriend were shacked up and naked in the back, so he slotted in the sliding door of our campavan and shot through with a warning notice about the local camping by-laws!

Whatever happened to fun, free loving hippy, happy highway and the byway? Well just in case Mr jobsworthy Gold Coast Council bloke gets to read this blog - check out the ticket - we paid ya drongo! We even took pictures of the beach, let me give ya a gander at them -

Just in case you think we asked someone to take these pictures whilst we slept, here's me on the beach!

Oh and these guys were parked in there before we left the car park - now err hate to be a drongo myself but erm can't a stretch hummer fit more people in than a teeny tiny campavan?

And not to put too fine a point on it who sleeps between 3:30pm and 7:30pm? It's not like we're European and on Siesta time! So Off we set to find a place to bed for the night. Now the Jucy kiwis has been kinda thorough but forgot to tell us about the ventilation. So for half the night we slept in our own sweat lodge and hallucinated on lack of sleep, till in a heated haze I spied a latch in in came air enough to blow dry our sweat ridden hair, ah a sigh of relief and thank goodness we didn't need to de-gas before!

P.S. The Virgin is a Virgin plane http://www.virginblue.com.au/, Our campavan is from Jucy rentals http://www.jucy.com.au/ - we had the Jucy crib, sadly we didn't have the sunroof just side windows for ventilation.