Life in the slow lane: Wet n' Wild time

10 November 2010 at another crack of stoopid - 6am.

Awoke for a mad dash to the facilities. Fruit breakfast, check out and head towards Southport and Helensvale, Queensland. Once we arrived at Helensvale we checked into the Gold coast Holiday Park and Motel

http://www.goldcoastholidaypark.com.au/ freecall 1300 789 189. $27 (discounted from our Jucy Top Tourist Key - 10%) for un-powered site, which is part of their camping ground area and backs onto a creek. At the time we checked in the site was being re-modelled, so building works were going on. This site was bigger than Burleigh Beach Tourist Park and also had Motel facilities. The swimming pool was located miles away from all the other facilities. They had a nice eating area, good showers and toilets, as well as laundry facilities. They didn't sell goods as shops and servo's were close by.

They did inform us that the theme parks apart from Wet n' Wild don't let any food or drinks in unless you have special dietary requirements and lockers cost $9 no return, which makes going to the theme parks very expensive even with a discounted unlimited entry card from my fun http://myfun.com.au/ . It turned out that only Movie World out of the 3 Theme parks we were visiting; Wet n' Wild, Sea World and Movie World have the strict no food policy and the $9 locker fee is at all Theme Parks. Food prices for very unhealthy food like burgers, fries, battered fish n chips, pizza's and lots of fizzy drinks cost anything from $5 upwards and the portions are stingy at best.

As we ventured down towards the camping site it looked a bit boggy - they didn't tell us that the site can flood - kinda handy to know considering we weren't driving a 4 wheel drive! They also omitted to tell us about the building works going on. The un-powered sites are not marked,  it's pot luck you get the right one. Luckily our site wasn't boggy. This huge holiday park has every size and make of camping van's, trailer's RV's, Tents all snug up to one another. The other issue the camping grounds were quite a walk to the facilities in the middle of the night with no lighting available and the poor uneven condition of the ground - not all campavan's have toilet facilities! The only plus about this camp site is that they do allow pets and that is a very rare thing. Due to the boggy camping grounds and the unhealthy creek behind there was an almighty mozzie fest during the night and these mozzie's were hellbent on being little suckers. Google Star Rating: 3 stars/ our Star Rating: 2 stars.

So once we had checked out the facilities we headed for Wet n Wild. We even changed in the back of our Campavan and slip, slop, slapped as it looked like a scorcher of a day. Once through we queued up to have our mugshots taken for our unlimited passes - mine looked like Bea Smith out of Prisoner Cell Block H.
http://www.prisoner-cellblockh.co.uk/characters/beasmith.html

Erm just a thought here but we're at Wet n Wild and erm "THIS PASS IS NOT WATERPROOF"????? Hello but erm pardon me for being a drongo yet again but isn't Wet n Wild a WATER THEME PARK!???? So I hereby award Village Roadshow Theme Parks my special Homer Simpson "DOH!" award.

Once the mugshots had been taken we decided to have a gander at what's on offer - first to the "Giant Wave Pool" water area, complete with sun loungers and shady areas and one big wave pool. Now it should be noted the wave pool doesn't have any shades over any of the water area, so slip, slop, slapping is mighty essential here. This is also the place to watch the movies once the summer late nights keep the park open. 

The "Giant Wave pool" is pretty cool with 'real feel' beach waves and graduation into the water, even lifeguards are sat sweltering in the sun, keeping an eye on it's many guests. It can get pretty crowded and the wave machine doesn't go all the time, just intermittently. Most people stand in the water waiting for the waves to start. It's really is a good job this isn't a constant barrage of waves, as it gets pretty exhausting after a while.

Also in this area is the new ride - "Flowrider" - this is a bookable ride and costs extra to do and you have a choice to stand or lie on your specially designed ride surfboard. The guy demonstrating was very good but others weren't so lucky and falling could see you crashing to the sides. Note we didn't have a go at this.

Most of the rides have height, weight and medical restrictions, I guess if you ignore that advice it's at your own risk and the Theme Park is not liable. Having said that height checks are not done till you reach the top of a very, very long stair case. Be warned most rides have several flights of stairs to climb, so it's not for the feint hearted and if you haven't pre-purchased your locker, someone will have to stay below and watch the bags, as there is no place to stash them around the rides.

After the "Giant Wave Pool" we meandered round to the "Mammoth Falls" and up the several flights of stairs. Awaiting for us at the top was one huge round rubber dinghy and a ride full of twists and turns, sending us up various sides of the ride. It's a slower and wetter version of the luge run and you really do have to jump out at the bottom to avoid on coming traffic.

The "Whirlpool" wasn't operational, so we decided to choose something a little more on the slower pace and chillin' - so it was off to "Calypso Beach". This is a gentle float round the Calypso Island and yes they have sand in various parts and Palm trees. As you meander around the River on your floating rubber ring - which by the way wasn't easy to mount - you glide past a cave a gushing water plummets down on your head (there are 2 small gaps to avoid this if you so choose but hey you're already wet, so what's the big deal?). the gushing water from above is about the most excitement you could get from this as it really is a slow meander in the river.

As "Calypso Beach" was such a nice spot we decided to have lunch here and chillax some more. Ah this was the life, sand, Palm trees, running water, food - hang on we're at a Theme Park - isn't it about thrills and spills? Well, yes but not for a moment. After lunch we had trouble deciding what to do next. Back to the "Giant Wave Pool" to cool off again before thinking about more steps, more rides.

The "buccaneer Bay" is a great spot for younger children, lots for them to see and do and even a shaded area for parents to sit and eat lunch, parts of this pool are covered by shades, so great on a very hot day. We walked towards the "Aqualoop" area - also a new ride at Wet n Wild - the tubes looked thin but it says the maximum weight is 130kgs, which is quite hefty minimum is 40 kgs and this ride you do get weighed before even climbing up the stairs. On this ride you are shot at great speed through enclosed tubes and through a loop to the end. It was fun seeing bodies hurtle at incredible speeds through the tubes. I decided against attempting this one, didn't want to be the one who got stuck in a tube!

Instead I opted to try the "Super 8 Aqua Racer" - head forward on a rubber mat down a bumpy, skinny track. There was a queue for this as we waited for the mats and then a long walk to the stairs at the back of the ride and then the climb onwards and upwards. The flow of the water is quite strong so laying of the mat is tricky and then whoosh on ya stomach and down you go at break-neck speed.

Amazingly we had been in the park at 10am and after this ride decided that we needed to rest and go back to our camp site at 1:30pm even though earlier we were planning on staying all day. Most of the rides didn't grab us and we weren't in the mood for training to run up the Rialto in Melbourne. With that we left the park - note the exit is conveniently through the Theme Park shop!

Wet n Wild's Theme Park Map http://wetnwild.myfun.com.au/Park-Info/Interactive-Map.htm 

Returning to our Jucy bog we decided to venture around the camp site and find the swimming pool, well we trod through and weaved around the building works, to the other side of the camp site to a very nice swimming pool. We even conversed with a grey nomad who had come specifically for the Pan Pacific Masters Games http://www.mastersgames.com.au/ then dipped in the water before having a nice hot shower, using the facilities in the middle of the camp site.

We were going to settle in for a quiet night till along came 3 Bruce's with Shelia's and ankle grinder's in toe, as is the nature of these camping sites. They started hummin' n aarghin' over which way to pitch their camps, moanin' n groanin' on munching mozzies, who were happily chomping away at the bit, so the reading idea was curtailed for the night and we retired to our camp bed at 8:30pm.

We were going to watch a movie on the DVD player however, that decided to die on us half way through a movie, so that left us with the option of sleep and hopefully a good night.

Overall review of Wet n Wild - basically an overpriced swimming pool unless your fit, 20 something, don't mind climbing stairs and are mad for it. With beaches near by and constant waves, Barbara of Bankworld might say, "Go! There! Why would ya?"